Internship

I'll be interning at Buro Happold this summer. I'm pretty stoked. But from previous experience, I realize that I get pretty upset when things appear  to hold me back. The advisor is really busy. The project is getting a little boring. Is it 5pm yet? 


I guess there's always something you have to do but do not really want to do. That's the way things are.


I really want to get the most out of this though. I want to keep exploring. If something doesn't work out, I should adapt and switch my attention to something else I find interesting.


I'll just post these articles as well. Perhaps I'll have to reread them to revitalize my enthusiasm for my work. Hopefully that'll work. 


Stoked

How to Hack Your Job

RandsInRepose's Summer Intern Guide

hot pot recipe

slices of beef

and lamb

and fish balls, which

always requires a joke or two.

all swimming in two pots

one with chicken bullion

another

the hot hell broth of szechuan spices

all wrapped up in a cozy room

on a cold winter's night.

but most importantly

the friends

the family

the laughter that ensues

joke after joke

story after story

until another day

The Long Line

The long line ahead. That's what you should be looking down, when you drive. Those seemingly big problems you have could just be small splatters of dust on a windshield.

They'll remain for a while. Occasionally, your eyes will wander, notice, and widen at the sight of them. As if you forgot they were there. Accept that they exist.

Keep your hands on the wheel.

Sure, sometimes there's a crack on your window. You should stop and get it fixed. Really though, cracks are rare.

It's a long road ahead. But keep seeing as far as you can see.

Trust me, it's gonna be an awesome ride.

On listening to Under the Cover of Darkness

wacky. that's how i want to be. in the kick-a-trash-can kind of way.

but i'm not like that. i just end up being silly.

i know one thing for sure. every time you're around, i know i'm at the right place. but even more, i wish i could go places with you. set ourselves free.

of course, all this is foolish talk. unless you feel the same. do you? i doubt it.

"why such thoughts? it's all sentimental bull."

you're right. just wait. i'll see the moment when it comes up.

let's go

inTENSE

As I type these words in the library, there's a man sitting a couple seats away. He types loudly, at an unnecessarily high volume. Sometimes it's like he's playing a note on the piano, in super forte. Every once in a while he sighs. Actually, he just exhales. Everyone can hear him. Well, everyone as in me and this other girl in the room. I mean, it is the second day of classes. What's my excuse? I'm typing applications for a research position. Cover letters are bitches, with resumes as their complementary pair of Uggs boots. But enough about those.

People probably find me rather odd, because I get so excited about things that seem anything but. Like this talk about mushrooms (link). Or a project (more commonly referred to as work).

I had a friend in high school who brought up to my attention one very important thing: I needed to chill. Sometimes he'd even get sick of me and shun me away. Then one time during class, I brought out an egg beef and lettuce sandwich. People turned, looked, and started asking a slew of questions. "What's in it?" "Where'd you get it?" "You gonna eat that?" And I responded "Guys, it's just a sandwich. Chill the fuck out." My friend then noted that if I of all people wanted people to chill, then people really needed to chill.

Since then, I haven't had a similar moment. It's usually the other way around. I'm frightened. I am damn well going to stay passionate. Life is awesome for me that way. But I don't want to end up like that guy, typing madly on the computer. I don't want to intimidate people with my behavior. And I definitely don't want to be the douche imposing their "passions" onto others. As much as I want other people to get excited, people should live at their own pace.

I guess I'll have to watch myself.



Fill the chuck out

Dear Miss Tiger Lady,

I have just read your article on the Wall Street Journal. Beforehand, I’ve thought about parenting in some aspects. I sometimes imagine hypotheticals. “What if my parents did this when I was four? Seven?” Your article brought into question a lot that I’ve taken for granted. The story at the end was the kicker, bringing doubt to the way I view parents. For this, I thank you greatly.

Still, I’m left to wonder how justified some of your standards are, particularly with grades. You dictated at the very beginning that your children were not allowed to get less than an A nor be less than #1 in their class. You then proceeded to interpret why Chinese parents would think in such a way.

Fallacy of composition aside, I still disagree. For one, students could incorrectly interpret it by focusing purely on the grades and not on the effort they spend or the real lessons they learn. This could result in cheating and plagiarism. Of course, the iron grip of a tiger mom may prevent the very thought of cheating. But I digress. The thing is, such a rule seems to over emphasize the results over the process, when in fact attention to process produces great results.

The bigger fear I have with this standard originates from a situation I encountered in college. During my freshman year, many of my friends started off in an introductory calculus class. Anxiously smiling, they took the first exam of their college lives under that subject. Afterwards, I heard their general consensus. “It was a massive rape.” To state the statistics, the average score on the exam was a 38% and the highest score was an 80%. This would raise many questions about the students, professors, and the whole education system. But at the end of the day, the big question is: how will students react to this? It seems intuitive that the student’s self-esteem would drop to an abyss with such previous expectations.

Let’s now put a Tiger Mother-raised student into this situation. All her life, she was told that the only acceptable grade was an “A.” A “B” would get her shouts of “Garbage!” from the phone. I won’t even try to imagine what would happen to the student who got the average score. But maybe you are suggesting that, under the expectations of a Tiger Mother, one would have the confidence to say “I can do better” and not sulk over such failures. Of course, now I am inserting words in your mouth. I would really like to know what you would say to your child, if she got a B (or dare I say it, a grade near 38%).

Best Regards,

Mr. Now Ashamed Piano Quitter

Relief

That's strange. It's over, but that sigh of relief hasn't come up yet. Maybe it's really because I'm still not exactly done. There are still yet more final exams, more projects due. The work may never be done.

No.

It will get done. And then I'll breath a sigh of relief.

Eventually.

Too much

You know you are busy as hell when you see "12:30am, September 12th" and think, "That's tonight...."

And now, back to work.

let's do this

Studio and Beyond

Architecture studio has ended. I'm filled with mixed feelings actually. It was an awesome experience for sure. But there were times when I looked forward to the end, to a time when I could sit and think about absolutely nothing for a while. now it's over, and i can't stop thinking about architecture, reading blogs, and looking at pictures. it's odd.

I was stoked from the start of the session to make things. studio didn't disappoint. yet I never expected to feel a kind of anxiety when creating, this feeling of knowing what to do, but not how to do it. To add on to the confusion, the TA would often look at my models or drawings and essentially say that they sucked, sending me on a 180 degree turn. The results of these projects were not as good as I would have liked, but I learned a lot from the overall experience.

Which brings up the question, am I really cut out for this sort of thing? It's one thing to continually learn from past projects and failures in studio. But eventually I'd have to succeed in the real world, to win the bid, and build the building that people will enjoy. Am I creative "enough" for that? Not now...

I believe I have potential. I can definitely see myself improving my ability to come up with ideas and working on them. Needless to say, this will take a huge time commitment. Should I pursue a career in architecture, I’d be taking the high road.

So what am I willing to sacrifice? Would I have time for a family? How much money is this gonna cost me? the questions keep rolling in.

I’ll do what I can to plan things out. The future's uncertain, but I do need a general sense of where I want to be 10 years, maybe even 20 years from now.

If there's any certainty in all this, it's that whatever career I choose to pursue, engineering or architecture, I’ll have to pursue it with little hesitation and a ginormous amount of passion. The time I’ve spent in studio can certainly attest that architecture is a struggle that I’ve got to put all my energy in to overcome, a struggle that is both frustrating and attractive. after these six weeks, I can already tell that going into architecture would be one helluva road trip.

should i take it?

"The Architect"

So one day in architecture studio, my friend's iPod is playing on the speakers. Billy Joel's "Piano Man" starts playing with the line "It's nine o' clock on a Saturday...The regular crowd shuffles in..." Eventually, the song sounds like it's about studio ("if I could get out of this place...") and the idea hits me. So in a few late nights, I modified the "Piano Man" lyrics to make them about summer studio. I didn't have to change various lines because they fit studio life so perfectly.

Here it is, "The Architect" sung in the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man"

It’s nine o’clock on a saturday

the Students are sitting on their stools

There’s a young teen sitting next to me

Gettin' really intimate with tools

He says, man, can you lend me those calipers

I can't get this thickness down

It's these lines

and these sections

They're so far from perfection

And then he left for the dorm lounge

La la la, de de da La la, de de da da da

Chorus:

Build us a cube, you’re the architect

Build us six more tonight

Well, I want them all to be exquisite

And you’ve got to go at it alright

Now Ethan across from me is a friend of mine

He sings me melodies for free

And he’s quick with a song but not for long

Till a TA comes in to see.

He says, Dan, I believe this is killing me.

As the smile ran away from his face

Well I’m sure I could be a great starchitect

If I could get out of this place

Oh, la la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da

Now Won is a true man of his craft

He cuts neatly with his Olfa knife

And he’s talkin’ with Gretchen who’s still tonin' and sketchin'

And probably will be for life

And rooms get filled from head to toe

As some insomniacs slowly get stoned

Yes, they’re sharing a drink they call studio

But it’s better than drinkin’ alone

Chorus

It’s a pretty good crowd for a saturday

And the professor gives me a smile

’cause he knows we're confused

on what the hell we should do

We forget about life for a while

And the studio, it sounds like a carnival

And the air smells pretty weird (It's the fixatif)

As we sit at our desks and put heads down for more rests

We say, man, what am I doin’ here?

Oh, la la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da

It is still a work in progress, so feel free to suggest changes.

Architecture

I'll be leaving for summer school this Friday. A six week architecture studio awaits

What this summer will mean to me is two things:

one, to see if i have any continued interest and talent in architecture

and two, as an experience for me to look back on. to never say 10 years from now, "what if i did that summer studio. would i be an architect now?" to say instead, "that was awesome and rewarding" regardless of what i'll be doing 10 years from now.

i've taken other architecture courses before. the professors i've had are incredible characters. i get intimidated, which seems to blind me from seeing what's important. this time, regardless of how well i'm doing, i definitely need to have fun with it. ride the wave whether i'll wipe out or reach a paradise shore.

as to what my "architecture" style will be like in studio, i don't know. call me unsophisticated, but i've been skeptical and confused when i see some comtemporary architects' work. here are some designs that either won competitions or have been built

New Port House in Antwerp [wtfuzzy?!?!]

CCTV Building [nicknamed the "Boxer Shorts" building]

it seems like architects purposely go for something boldly remarkable. sure the buildings will become famous, even notorious. then again it's probably very hard to create something so balanced, something iconic and romantically inspiring, while at the same time sensible and cost effective.

but hey, it's just my first studio. i don't need to start solving the world's problems just yet. let's see what happens.

cowabunga

Book List

Rather than inundate this post with long lists, I'll try to keep it short: 3 books I will read, and 3 books I will recommend for all you bibliophiles.

To-Read list:

The Fabric of the Cosmos by Brian Greene:

Since I read an excerpt in high school, I have wanted to read the whole thing. It's a physicist's attempt to explain relativity with accessible metaphors and terminology.

Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain:

After watching No Reservations for a while, I now want to read what made Anthony Bourdain legendary: his outlook on the restaurant business as a dishwasher who rose to the rank of chef. Maybe his awesome writing style will rub off onto me...

iWoz by Steve Wozniak

The auto-biography of Apple's co-founder, the other Steve. I've already started reading and it's pretty interesting.

Recommendations:

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

First book I read by HM. Great story. Unlike his other novels, this one is short and relatively unsurreal, but equally awesome. If you want more surrealistic stuff, Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World is amazing as well.

A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink

This book offers an interesting view on how traits like empathy and creativity are becoming more valuable in today's economy. Whether or not you will agree with this, this books does offer a good collection of other books to read, places to visit, and things to do.

Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

It's part of a series set in a place called Discworld. You don't need to know much about the series to read these novels though. Unlike a lot of fantasy books I've read, the Discworld series is witty and funny. The best Pratchett book I've read so far.

Really though, I've written this post to give a general idea of my tastes. Now I'd like to hear what you would recommend. Suggest away.

Wedding Dress

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uthxUVMcYw

Not to say that you are "in" or "out," but I'm sure many have seen this music video. Taeyang's song Wedding Dress describes his longing to marry a friend, who is instead marrying another man. I've had two incidences involving this music video and I'd like to hear what everyone else thinks about it.

The first moment started when a friend of mine came by my dorm room, where I was coincidentally watching the video. Not that I obsess over Taeyang or anything (<.<)

We end up watching the video, not understanding a single word of Korean, just looking at the scenes. And then at 4:10 into the video, it happens.

"What the hell?" my friend asks.

"What?"

"Just like that? She just accepts a proposal from this random guy who has been cockblocking Taeyang this entire time. I would just punch the guy's face."

Rewatching the video just now (again I am not obsessed), I can see how Taeyang is actually kind of a creeper. Shadily dragging the lady out of the bar. Fumbling in his pocket. The other guy appears. She smiles.

Still, we are lead to side with Taeyang, the main man. That other guy's a bastard. He doesn't deserve her. And that girl's a bitch. Can't she see Taeyang is the more talented guy? Has she even seen him dance? If only he had a partner...

But I digress.

Then today I discussed my friend's reaction with other Taeyang fans. Expert fans as they are (meaning they're girls), they offered this perspective: It seems reasonable to favor the more mysterious guy. Plus the other guy is tall and handsome. Taeyang is short.

Now, I don't remember the specific way things were said. Maybe my sources will read this and clarify. But it seems like there are two things that seem to matter for relationships: the quality time spent, and the overall sense of the person. What matters more? Or is this even reflective of reality?

What do you guys think?

Ready or Not

I don't know. I'm just not where I thought I'd be. Things came up in my stupid moody little head.

But I did get some productivity out of it. And there were a few moments of relaxation. Playing piano and enjoying it for once. Reading David Sedaris' When You are Engulfed in Flames while drinking black coffee in the morning, or late afternoon.

I still won't say I'm satisfied with this week. But like my mom said, "When are you ever?"

In my defense, there were times I did like the way things turned out from breaks. But she still has a point. So whatever. What's happened has happened. All there is to do is face the music. Maybe then, I'll get to live a little and be happy.

Mini-Saga

Despite the flaring heat, they trained section after section. The sound of shoe rubber hitting against sweaty palms echoed off the white walls. Afterwards, they horsestanced for what seemed like hours. “Jia yo!” they yelled. To end the day, they sat on the garage door ledges watching the sunset together.

note: a mini saga is a short story written in exactly 50 words. I know I could have written this better but I wanted to give things a try. more to come?

Dilemma

Every so often, a college student faces a dilemma in the dorm laundry room. All the washers are full of clothes but one has finished washing. He waits a few minutes, if he's nice. But after that, the question remains: should he take out another person's clothes, boxers, thongs, and all?

Alas, I was in this situation. There are a few other stories like this, but none as traumatizing as this. Let's continue.

I open the washer. Great. It's a girl's. In my defense I waited a few minutes, filling another washer with clothes. I still had a shit load of clothes to wash.

Work fast!, my mind thought. My hands raced, trying not to think too much on the fact that I was touching various undergarments. Quick! She might be coming down at this very moment.

Right when I slammed the door, she arrives. Well, shit.

Then I did the worst possible thing: I tried to be smooth. Emphasis on tried.

I went to my other washer. She opens the door. Her washer coincidentally no longer holds her clothes. Wonder who made that happen? (hint: who else is in the laundry room?)

I left the room, as if it wasn't me. Then I had second thoughts. I went back, thinking it didn't really matter.

Or did it? Because my friend Steven was now in the laundry room. Girl #1 was now putting clothes away in the dryer. Then another girl came in.

"Oh, are you in line?" Girl #2 asks Steven.
"Yeah, I'm just waiting a few minutes for some other people to get their stuff out," nice guy Steven replied
"Oh, people get my clothes out all the time." Girl #2 said as a matter of fact. Her words didn't seem to matter. Not when the owner of those removed clothes was in the same room.

The blood of Humiliation was rushing full blast into my skull. With a layer of sweat on my forehead, I ran to the elevator back to my dorm. As I got into the elevator, I heard the ominous footsteps. Please, I begged the elevator door, close faster.

Just as the door was about to shut tight, it reopened. And in walked Girl #1, the girl whose laundry I shamefully pulled out of the washer. It was a long and awkward 4 flights of an elevator ride. Why me?

Somewhere, a divine creator is chuckling rofling his ass off.

Should I feel guilty? Or is it not that big a deal? Thoughts?

Sanity

Sometimes I forget that I'm in college. That most of the time I'm just a student

College. Student. Those two words seem to carry different connotations. "Student" makes me think of the tasks, the academics, the essays and the problem sets. I can't help but feel a slight tingling stress just thinking about it.

But college, that's something different. It's friends, the nights out, laughter, the moments. Cheers to that.

So are you a student? Or are you in college? Both?

???

Overall, things are going well. There's the occasional feeling of loss, like something's hollow. Can't explain why really. It may have something to do with me losing focus on everything. I even stop caring sometimes. Is that a good thing?

Whatever.

It could just be the unusual high amounts of Kyle Landry/Yiruma I've been listening to. I actually like it. Used to be that I thought they played nice piano music. But now, I'm just....disgusted with myself. I blame my roommate.

=P

Stoked

So another break passes. Time to go back. Once again, there's so much I want to do.

But I worry. Can I do this? Am I too unrealistic?

Suck it up.

Here goes. Here's to making new commitments, and quitting the ones that don't matter.

An End

Finally

These three weeks have been chaotic as ever. It's all a blur now that it's over. Only thing I remember is this video of harold and kumar of all things. It gave me hope =D haha.

Looking back I am sorta disappointed in myself. I'm too easily distracted as always and I'm never exactly realistic. Going to sleep at 2 and expecting myself to wake up early on a weekend. My old roommate had the remarkable ability to go to sleep at 11pm no matter how much work he finished. Seeing as it's already 1am, I am far from mastering that ability.

It feels unbelievably better now. "A late night, a cup of coffee, music playing, no work at all..."

So before my mind wanders off

zZ