College

It's been a while since I've written in this blog. College has definitely kept me busy. Before going to college I didn't have many expectations on what it was going to be like. I definitely knew it was going to be fun. But I also expected that academics were going to be difficult.

During my previous summer of watching youtube videos, however, I came across this clip that gave me some great encouragement and useful advice. [link]

After watching this, I thought “Man. Bourdain is such a...such a rocker. He travels the world and dares to eat fermented tofu, cobra heart, pig intestines, anything that the local people consider food. Even when he works in the kitchen, he endures, fights it out, rocks on.” (insert electric guitar strum here) Right then I believed that that was how I was going to do things in college.

After about a month into college, I made many friends who felt the same, at least when they were out partying or sledding on stolen dining hall trays. They would eat things they've never eaten before. Drink till they start enjoying massages by strangers. Enjoy life like there's no tomorrow.

When it came to academics though, my friends often complained. About getting absolutely raped by tests, prelims, and midterms that were unbelievably difficult or curved to a B. Time and time again I would hear something along the lines of “Success is now defined as how well you do against others in the class.” I couldn't blame them. College is hard. But I had my own opinions back then.

I thought, “No worries. A true rocker never fears, even in academics. I'm not gonna stress over stupid grade curves or how difficult other people say the test is gonna be. I'm gonna rock on and not get intimidated.” So I studied hard, aimed for an A+, and yada yada I aced my first few tests. I thought to myself, “Yeah! Be a rocker, that's what I'm gonna do. It'll all work out just like it did just now.”

Besides these little bouts of arrogance, there was nothing else wrong with what happened. I “rocked on” and succeeded. But little did I know that I had yet to really prove myself as a rocker.

Then one midnight I found myself with two research papers due the next day, both of which were far from finished. I'm not here to brag about workload but this had me freaking out. I heard a voice saying “Be a rocker. Rock on!”

And then I thought “pffft. Fuck that. That whole bullshit about 'rocking out' is easier said than done. How the hell am I going to succeed. I'm fucked...and I'm going crazy too with all these voices.” I abandoned this whole idea of being a rocker. It didn't matter whether I was or wasn't one, I just started working. Eventually both papers were finished. I was muttering curses under my breath the entire time, exhausted, at my limits.

Looking back at this moment though, I have to say that even though I “abandoned” the idea, I was still a rocker. To quote again from Bourdain's clip, “You have to keep swimming and swimming and swimming upstream... It's kinda like any high stress situation. You're not aware of what you're doing, you're just doing it.”

What being a rocker really means is simply acting. When you're partying and enjoying yourself, this seems almost second nature. Have another shot. Don't think just take it. Granted it can lead to some mistakes...but those can be avoided if you're smart and lucky enough.

It's more difficult to see and do in academics. You're not exactly having the time of your life when you are studying. If you do have time of your life, then you need to get a life. The good news is, it's no different from when you are enjoying yourself. You just have to act.

If any of my friends ever had the patience to read this far into my post, I hope they at least take this lesson from it. Don't worry about the mountains of work. Don't worry about tomorrow. And certainly don't give a damn about that stupid curve. Already, I've seen my friends in situations like the one I had. 2 papers and a textbook review due the next day. 3 finals in 3 consecutive days.

I know I'll definitely be facing some worse situations throughout the rest of college. Three research papers? Four and a project? I can't tell what it will be. I'm probably going to be eating the very words I'm typing. But for now, I'll say it. I'm going to be ready and rock on. And I hope my friends will too.

At this point, though, some of them would probably be thinking, “Daniel....you need to get laid. This entire post is about working hard. You never said you went to a party.” OK OK, I probably should go to college parties for once, so that I'm not so hypocritical on the partying parts of this blog post. =D

Rock on

A Happy New Year to all. Please comment.